Life's Biggest Con
What scares you? What
stories do you make up to con yourself into holding back? What would you do
if you didn't con yourself into being scared?
I've done something that
scared the heck out of me. But it also turned out to be the best thing I've
Two years ago, I discovered
that my Dad needed a kidney and as soon as I realized I might be the answer
he needed, the voices in my head began to resist and shout!
"NO WAY can I give up a
kidney! Are you kidding me!? I need both kidneys! I can't do it!"
Fear struck me down in an
instant. I had never given up a body part. For that matter, I had never even
stayed in hospital.
Despite the fear, I mentally
considered the idea ... and I the more I thought about it, the more
terrified I became. What if I had kidney failure in the future? Would I
be able to have kids? What if something went wrong and I had impaired health
for the rest of my life? Don't we need both kidneys?
All the while, Dad never
asked me or any other member of our family for a kidney. I decided to get
tested on my own. I was the only one in my family that got tested and I felt
isolated. I felt like Dad's health was my responsibility alone. The fear
held an even firmer grip on my mind.
And to accelerate the mental
spin I was already in, there were plenty of well-meaning people ready to
offer up their unsolicited opinion to help build and fortify my "wall of
These were just a few of the
fantastic and ridiculous comments I heard:
· "I know someone who
donated a kidney and they got really fat as a result. You might get really
fat". (A young woman's worst fear!)
· "Will you be able to have
· "You'll have to give up
· "You'll have to change
your diet, become a vegetarian."
· "What happens if your
kidney fails and you don't have a spare?"
· "What if you're in a car
accident and your remaining kidney gets hurt?"
· "What about the yin and
yang and flow through your body that they refer to in Chinese medicine?
Losing a kidney will interrupt that and ruin your health!"
In the midst of all that, I
decided to move forward. Dad told me I could pull out at anytime and he
wouldn't think the worst of me. But I had made up my mind and I began to
rise above the fear, rise above my own con job.
By the time the day of the
operation arrived, I was actually calm.
When I awoke from the
surgery, the doctors had me on a drip line and added 7kg of fluid to my body
- even my chicken legs were fat! And they had pumped my body cavity full of
gas. My surgeons joked that I looked like I should be in the maternity ward!
But, guess what? That was
the worst of it. Despite my fears and the warnings of well-meaning friends,
there were no complications and my recovery was quick. I was only in the
hospital for 4 days. It only took a week for the fluid to leave my body and
a few short months for the swelling to deflate completely. I was dancing -
albeit somewhat carefully - after just 2 weeks, and returned to work after 4
Now, giving up a kidney
should be pretty scary for anyone, right? It's an important body part and
you can't get it back once it's gone. It certainly was a scary prospect for
me! But I did it, and the truth is that it wasn't a big deal. It
wasn't a big deal at all! It was only my thinking that made it so. It's
sort of like bungy jumping. The scariest part is the fear you con yourself
into believing before you jump. After you jump, it's exhilarating.
I realized that I was
incredibly fortunate to have been given an opportunity to donate my kidney.
With that realization, though, came an insightful question that stopped me
in my tracks:
If I could give up a
kidney ... if it really wasn't such a big deal ... then what else could I
have done if I hadn't let fear get in the way?
I could ... I CAN ... do so
much more! I got it! I wasn't living up to my potential and I was 100%
responsible. The only thing holding me back was me! I have since decided
that I am not going to waste another minute. I LIVE, not exist. I've got
massive goals and thoroughly ENJOY every moment of my life.
It's been over two years now
and I'm delighted to report that Dad hasn't rejected the kidney. My gift has
given Dad a far superior quality of life, has had zero adverse effects on my
health, and the whole experience has undoubtedly brought Dad & I closer. I
have realized that the joy is truly in the giving.
And I understand that fear
is simply a con game we play on ourselves. It is all in our mind.
By acting in the face of
fear and giving up my kidney, I received the greatest gift imaginable. I
feel fantastic! My life is utterly different now, I LOVE it! From this
experience, I've acquired a massive desire to wake people up, to let them
know that they should never let fear hold them back, to inspire them to live
NOW ...and to make the world a better place.
I'm up for big stuff ... and
I'm going for it.
What are you up for? You'll
only discover what you're capable of doing if you are willing to do it
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